Today, I experienced the most beautiful example of trust unfolding in my life—a reminder that everything works out for the best when we allow it to flow naturally for everyone involved.
For weeks, my daughter Layla had been struggling with a huge knot in her hair. I’d tried to work on it here and there, but I hadn’t managed to untangle it. Life had been busy, and between work and other responsibilities, I hadn’t found the time. Feeling guilty and like a mother who had fallen short, I sent her to her father’s house with the knot still in her hair, accepting my failure and telling myself, I did my best, even if it wasn’t enough.
These past few days, I’ve been focused on writing my book and editing my website—creative projects that bring me energy and fulfillment. But with limited time, I had to make a choice: I couldn’t do everything. When Layla asked me to take her and her friend to the movies, I had to say no. Guilt rushed through me again, but I stayed aligned with my goal, reminding myself that the book was my priority for now.
And then something magical happened. Layla created her own solution. Her friend’s mother offered to take them to the movies, and I thought, Well, at least she’s happy. But then that familiar pang hit me: What about the knot in her hair? I’ve failed her again.
But what happened next truly opened my eyes. The mother not only took Layla to the movies but also sat down and untangled the knot in her hair. She even called me to ask if I was okay with cutting a small part of it out.
As I hung up the phone, a wave of realization washed over me: I don’t have to do it all.
That mother had found her moment of fulfillment in helping Layla with the knot. Layla was having a wonderful day with her friend. And I was working on my creative projects, pouring energy into what fulfills me.
For the first time, I saw that it’s possible to raise children, juggle life, and still pursue my dreams. Tears filled my eyes as years of internal conflict unraveled before me. I’ve struggled for so long with the idea that I needed to do everything for my children—that if I couldn’t, I was somehow failing as a mother.
In that moment, I realized the solution wasn’t about sacrificing one part of myself for another. It was about letting go of the belief that everything had to come from me. That belief had been deeply embedded in me, likely tied to my experience as an only child.
I embraced the emotions that surfaced, allowing the tears to flow freely. Memories of all the moments I’d carried this struggle rose to the surface. For the first time, I truly processed the pain of that burden and let it go.
This experience taught me something profound: being a good mother isn’t about doing everything. It’s about creating a life where everyone’s needs, including my own, are met in ways that bring fulfilment to all.
What if we trusted more and controlled less, how much lighter would life feel?
Here’s to creating our reality, Anke Joanne.