Today, through a series of realizations, I came to an undeniable truth: I have been failing to prioritize myself. The question arose—what exactly am I not prioritizing? And as I sat with this, the answer became clear. I have not been prioritizing the aspects of myself that long to express the energy within me, that want to take what is deeply me and bring it into physical form.
For so long, I had chosen survival over expression. From a young age, I learned to adjust myself to the needs of others, believing that by fulfilling them, I would be safe. But in doing so, I locked away the most vital parts of myself—the ones that make me feel alive, the ones that give me fulfillment. These parts of me—the creative, expressive, humorous, and curious aspects—were hidden away, left unseen and unheard.
When I unlocked that door today, I was met with waves of grief. I had to face the years I had spent neglecting these parts of myself, the years I spent prioritizing societal expectations over my own truth. The grief was heavy, and so was the anger—anger at the choices I had made, anger at the survival mode I had lived in. But as I sat with it, I realized something profound: I can give up the fight.
I can give up striving.
I can give up perfection.
I can give up the heavy weight of needing to leave something behind, of needing to prove my worth.
Life is not about proving anything. It’s about feeling fulfilled in my own experience. It’s about recognizing and meeting the needs of the parts of me that I had so long ignored. These aspects of myself don’t need to be seen by anyone else—they need to be seen by me.
The Release
When this realization settled in, something incredible happened. All the energy I had held in anger, frustration, and grief was released. Suddenly, I found myself cleaning my kitchen cabinets with fervor and making a vegetable soup—not because I had to, but because the energy demanded movement. It was a release, a clearing, a reclaiming of space, both within me and around me.
That soup, a simple act of creation, became symbolic. It wasn’t just a task; it was an expression. An acknowledgment. A declaration that I am here for myself now.
The Shift
As I let go of the anger and grief, I felt something even deeper: relief. By seeing these parts of myself, by giving them permission to exist and express, I am creating the life I was always meant to live—a life rooted in joy, self-expression, and fulfillment.
I now see that the aspects of myself I once locked away hold the keys to my energy and my well-being. When I let them be seen, when I give them the space to express, I feel whole. And I never want to feel neglected again.
The beauty is that it’s not hard. It’s not heavy. It’s light, joyful, and deeply freeing.
An Invitation
If you’re reading this, I invite you to pause and ask yourself: What aspects of me have I locked away for survival, for others, for societal expectations? Sit with the answer. And when you find those parts of yourself, ask them what they need.
For me, it’s about self-expression—through writing, cooking, playing the piano, making jokes, or simply being. These are the ways I honor myself now. These are the ways I meet the needs of the aspects of me that matter most.
Your path may look different, but the goal is the same: to feel seen, heard, and fulfilled—by you.
So today, I surrender to the joy of simply being me. And it feels lighter, freer, and more beautiful than I ever thought possible.
Here’s to creating our own reality,
Anke Joanne
