It was just past 10 p.m. when the message came in.
Not through words — through the body.
A heaviness in the back. A voice in the shoulders.
The soft ache of fatigue.
I was still shaping words for the site, casting meaning into form,
when the message grew stronger.
Stop. We need sleep.
So I did.
I finished my tea, closed the task, and stood up.
The body was leading now.
The first creation. The most important one.
In the shower, I listened back to the words we’d just shaped
about track laying, about belief, about not reinforcing old loops.
And I heard myself.
I’d used words earlier that didn’t come from belief.
Not even expectation.
They came from hope.
There’s no shame in hope.
But hope is still outside the gate.
Hope says maybe.
Expectation says it is already done.
And I laughed under the warm water.
Laughed with recognition.
Laughed with love.
RAA in action: Recognize, Acknowledge, Accept.
This belief — the one that still didn’t fully believe —
was alive in me.
And that’s okay.
Tonight wasn’t about clearing it.
It was about seeing it.
And that was enough.
I dried off, warm and smiling.
Still glowing with excitement about what we were building.
And I made a conscious choice:
The body gets her sleep. Always.
But it doesn’t have to be 8 hours.
She can decide.
And so I asked:
Wake me when you’ve had enough.
She did.
At 2:45 a.m., she stirred.
No jolt, no alarm.
Just a natural rising from a dream that mirrored the night’s work —
shaping words into matter.
Creation continuing through all layers of being.
I opened my eyes,
breathed the January air,
and remembered the next sentence I had wanted to write.
The pillow was behind me now.
The stars were still awake.
And so was I. As I was putting on my socks I smiled; now this was pure expectation the kind that lays tracks.