Getting Shit Out
Clearing out the old to make space for what’s real
Last night I had a dream.
I woke up with the ache still alive in my body — not just a vague impression, but a deep, physical activation. Half my nervous system felt shut off. I tried to dissolve it, to breathe through it, but only part of it moved. Then life happened. The kids needed me, the snow was falling, and my attention was pulled outward.
I knew part of it was still active. That’s how these things work: if you don’t meet the imprint directly in the body, it keeps replaying — in dreams, in reflections, in people showing up to trigger the exact same knot.
And yes. Of course someone showed up.
A conversation, a situation, a confrontation. The very thing the dream had foreshadowed.
But here’s the thing.
By the time it’s playing out in your life, it’s already too late to prevent it. You can’t stop the unfolding. You can stop the reinforcement. You can stop yourself from reacting in a way that lays down the same track again.
This is where the RAA tool comes in —
Recognize. Acknowledge. Accept..
•Recognize what belief system is active. Don’t fight it. Don’t react to the scenery.
•Acknowledge the ache it brings in the body.
•Allow yourself to feel it without bracing, acting, or looping. Accept that it is there, and that it may never go away.
What counts most is where I point my attention —
because attention is what builds tracks. Where your attention flows, life grows. Or in this case tracks. Had I fought the believe that was underneath the scenery, the communication I had going on was; yes this is true about me. And new tracks were layed for future days to ride.
If I let the old ache drive my actions, my words, my energetic stance, I’m just laying down another layer of the same reality. Another brick on the same road. But if I can stay aware of it in my body — let the shoulders soften, let the breath deepen, let the tongue move, by doing so let the body know it is save so that it stays open— I can allow the energy to pass through without giving it new words or actions in my world again.
And yes, today was one of those days where I almost gave up.
I couldn’t get the tension out. Not just emotionally — I literally couldn’t shit. That’s how blocked things were. And yet I kept listening. Kept redirect my spiralling thoughts into feeling what is really here. Now. And by doing so I accepted that the situation might never resolve, but for now I choose to switched toward feeling the now. In the body. Until I realised again that I’m the conductor and not the people shouting my old believes. Until I realised it is a beautiful day and nothing really is the matter.
And then it started to move. The shit came out on all levels; Yawning. Tears. Snot. Burp. Energy releasing. And yes; finally a successful toilet visit.
And that’s the true switching of tracks.
And tomorrow, I build.
From the hum in my feet, from the truth in my spine, from the fire in my hands.
Let’s call it a beginning.