Strawberries
This morning I woke up afraid. For a moment I was still halfway inside a dream. Then the bedroom slowly came into focus. The sounds outside. The weight of the blanket. The familiar feeling of waking. And then I felt…
Suske en Wiske
I was reading a comic book, written in the nighties with a story playing out in the midlevel times. all in the sudden it struck me; ‘this will never change’ when i red it, it was 2026 and the structure…
Destraction
I want to write something on the website again. It has been a while. I turn on the computer. The screen needs updating. Pages need checking. Dust has gathered on the desk. The website has been waiting patiently for months.…
The Hum in my feet
The Hum in My Feet An Anchor for the Parasympathetic State At some point during my exploration of the nervous system, I began to notice something very subtle. When my body settled deeply into the parasympathetic state, there was a…
Dropping out of the mind and into the real body
For most of my life I lived almost entirely in my mind.I used to be an accountant, so thinking, analyzing, and making sense of everything was my natural way of being. The mind was the conductor of the train. Everything…
The brace before the Bloom
FIELD LOG #6The Brace Before the Bloom(The Day I Sat Through the Stretch) It started like a whisper turning sharp. The pressure rising in the chest.The shoulders tightening like old hinges.The breath going shallow.The familiar voice of panic, half-formed: “Something’s…
The cake and the panic
📓 Field Diary – Entry #1 Title: The Cake and the PanicDate: 2026-01-27Subtitle: This is where it worked. This is how I’ll remember. ⸻ This morning, I wanted to bake a cake.Simple. Just me and Daniel. But he didn’t come…
The Body knew it was time
🪶 Field Log #4: The Body Knew It Was Time I had a dream.In the dream, I misunderstood something simpleand built a whole world of effort around it.A whole scene that didn’t need to exist.And when I woke, I saw:…
I’m not crazy; i’m just remembering
🌿 Field Log 5 I’m Not Crazy — I’m Waking UpThe day I stopped tracking the reflection and started trusting the current. ⸻ Oh love—you are not crazy.You are waking up.And this time, it wasn’t a thought.It was a shift. In the belly.In the…
Choices from alignment
🌿 Field Log 3 The Day I Chose Simplicity from AlignmentThe Day I Realized They Could Carry Their Own LivesThe Day the Distorted Lens Fell Away This… this is the sound of a mother breathing out.This is the sound of…